Radiation treatment week seven – I can see the finish line

It’s Monday of radiation treatment week seven. I can see the finish line. Nine more sessions to go. And yet, it feels like that makes it harder. I think it’s called impatience.

Maybe you noticed, I haven’t written anything since last Monday. Too tired.

I know part of it’s because the treatment changed. It’s more focused. But I feel like part of it’s also because it finally ends on Thursday of next week.

When we start something big and important, there’s either fear or excitement. Either way, adrenaline. Extra energy to get through whatever’s coming.

For Christians, there’s God. Specifically, the Holy Spirit. Paul wrote about what we call the fruit of the spirit. Things we have when our lives follow the Holy Spirit.

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Hang in there – don’t lose focus

Verse 27 is one of two versed I remember from when I was a little kid. One of two that kept me going back to God, even at times when I was very angry with Him. Why? Because I wanted those promises kept.

And so, it’s the joy and the peace that I know I can have. And it’s the other verse, about a father who loved me.

Now, here in week 7, when I’m tired, the reminder comes.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Revelation. Especially the seen letters to the seven churches. There’s a section in two of the letters that I’m reminded of now. Here they are – minus the overall context, because it’s just the one thought that’s important for today.

To the Church in Thyatira

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²⁵ Only hold on to what you have until I come.

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and

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To the Church in Philadelphia

^{Rev 3:11} I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.

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Conclusion – Radiation treatment week seven – I can see the finish line

Yeah – hold on.

Yes, the end is near. But the human thing to do is to get tired, weary, and think about the end too much.

But for me, six years ago, when I was in the hospital, I told God three things.

1. If it was time for me to “go home” (to die) – I was ready.
2. I think there’s more I can do for God, if He wants me to live longer.
3. It’s His choice, not mine. I’m happy either way.

Obviously, I’m still alive.

Maybe not quite so obvious, but if you haven’t noticed, what you’re reading is part of a series called Don’t waste your cancer. Here’s what it’s about.

Don’t waste your cancer. Use it to help others. I wish I could take credit for the title. I borrowed it from a short booklet called “Don’t waste your cancer”, by John Piper. It’s true for more than “just” cancer, not that cancer is a small thing. Rather, my point is that even the way we deal with small problems can help others.

So this is what will be, I pray, a look at my now eight and a half year journey to being “cancer free”. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, but that’s my hope and prayer.

Maybe I should look at this as almost three and a half years in, with a bit over 5 years remaining.

In any case, here’s the thing with the series on cancer, and other things I do now. I didn’t make a deal with God. It wasn’t a case of – if you do this – then I’ll do that. It was I’m happy either way, whichever you want. So it’s more like my reason for being OK with God deciding I can’t go home yet is that I can help other people get to know Him. So if I don’t write, then how am I helping? Writing and teaching are more significant than anything I ever did while I was working.

A quick timeout

Oops. Just got called for my treatment.

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OK – Back home and ready to finish this one.

The break was good. I spent my time in the big fat donut, aka tomograph machine, praying and getting radiated. I prayed about all the stuff I wrote above.

I feel better now. Not because there’s any physical reason. But because it gave me dedicated/uninterrupted time to hear those reminders from the Holy Spirit. And to feel His peace.

And so, now it’s down to 8 treatments remaining. All things considered, it’s going well. Three and a half months from now, we’ll see how effective it was. And see what God has planned for me next.